To Make This Kind of Home…

In the Nursery by Helen Allingham

"It is in her own home—that this warmth of heart and this openness of hand are first to be shown. It is as wife and mother—that her gentleness performs its most sacred ministry. Her hand wipes away the teardrops when there is sorrow. In sickness she is the tender nurse. She bears upon her own heart every burden that weighs upon her husband. No matter how the world goes with him during the day—when he enters his own door he meets the fragrant atmosphere of love. Other friends may forsake him—but she clings to him with unalterable fidelity. When gloom comes down and adversity falls upon him—her faithful eyes look ever into his like two stars of hope shining in the darkness. When his heart is crushed, beneath her smile it gathers itself again into strength, "like a wind-torn flower in the sunshine." "You cannot imagine," wrote De Tocqueville of his wife, "what she is in great trials. Usually so gentle, she then becomes strong and energetic. She watches me without my knowing it; she softens, calms and strengthens me in difficulties which distract me—but leave her serene." An eloquent tribute—but one which thousands of husbands might give."

~ The Family/Homemaking by J. R. Miller

"A gracious woman retaineth honour…"

~ Proverbs 11:16

"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband…"

~ Proverbs 12:4

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"He Praiseth Her" ~ The Contented Homemaker

Family on the Farm by John Newton Howitt

She awakes from a dream and her bedroom comes into focus. She smiles because her home is a haven to her too. She doesn't wish for things she does not have, she is happy with what she does.

She takes care of the little trinkets, polishes the old furniture until it shines and mops the cracked tile floors until they sparkle. She hums as she cleans the bedrooms, prepares the simple meals and hangs out the laundry. She is satisfied with her portion which makes her a pleasant woman, wife and mother.

How happy the children are… For they know she always has plenty… plenty of love to share. She always has something tasty in the oven… tasty is what talks to those little souls. The children are learning much from dear mother.

How pleased she makes her husband... Any opportunity he can, he tries to bless her knowing how much she appreciates his humble efforts. He is a hard worker and he provides his best but times are tough...

She loves her family.

She loves her God.

She shows her love in her simple life of contentment.

"Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."

~ Proverbs 31:28

"...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

~ Phillipians ~ 4:11b

"and be content with such things as ye have:

for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

~ Hebrews 13:5

"But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content."

~ 1 Timothy 6:8

Proverbial Homemaker Series:

"She Riseth" Early ~ A Homemaker's Morning

"Law of Kindness" ~ A Homemaker's Victory

Lemon Honey Marmalade ~ A Homemaker's Musings
"She Strengtheneth" ~ A Homemaker's Health

"Soul Enjoy Good" ~ A Homemaker's Day Inn

"Work of Our Hands" ~ A Homemaker's Wash Day

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"Law of Kindness" ~ A Homemaker's Victory

For the very first time, she kept her lips from moving...

It took all her strength for she had plenty to say. The careless comment her husband made brought a rush of red into her cheeks and with it, plenty of ammunition. She was exhausted, it had been a demanding day. But, "her way" of handling situations never went well. She was determined to cleave to the Scriptures and give that "soft answer".

So, not trusting her words, she simply smiled…

How the angels must have rejoiced at her triumph!

The rest of this true story is shared today at Deep Roots at Home, please join us…

This post may be shared with some or all of the following link-ups: Modest Mom Monday's, Make it Yourself Mondays, Homestead Barn Hop, Natural Living Tuesday's, Teach Me Tuesday, Domestically Divine Tuesday, Raising Homemakers, Wise Woman Link Up, Wildcrafting Wednesday, Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways, Simple Living Wednesdays, Homemaking Thursday's, Farmgirl Friday and Deep Roots at Home. Thank you lovely ladies for hosting these. 

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"She Riseth" Early ~ A Homemaker's Morning

Pouring the Morning Coffee by Laurits Regnes Tuxen 

She slowly crawls out of the warm bed and into a soft robe. She tiptoes through the dark house and heads to the kitchen to turn on the stove. The perking coffee and rich aroma lulls her into a reverie. This is her morning.

She calmly whispers a prayer for the day.

She has taken control. She does not have to rush. She quietly sets about her routine. A bit of reading, some biblical encouragement and now the steaming mug is in her hand. It keeps her cozy with its thick cream and honey. She breathes deeply and basks in this early hour.

Soon the home will become alive. She is ready for it. She will carefully fix the bed, prepare the meal, fluff the cushions and start the wash.

When her morning is not stressed, the home is peacefully and beautifully blessed.

"She riseth also while it is yet night…"

~ Proverbs 31:15a

"EARLY RISING IS ONE OF THE MOST ESSENTIAL QUALITIES which enter into good Household Management, as it is not only the parent of health, but of innumerable other advantages. Indeed, when a mistress is an early riser, it is almost certain that her house will be orderly and well-managed..."

~ Mrs. Beeton, The Book of Household Management, 1861

Proverbial Homemaker Series:

"He Praiseth Her" ~ The Contented Homemaker

"Law of Kindness" ~ A Homemaker's Victory

Lemon Honey Marmalade ~ A Homemaker's Musings
"She Strengtheneth" ~ A Homemaker's Health

"Soul Enjoy Good" ~ A Homemaker's Day Inn

"Work of Our Hands" ~ A Homemaker's Wash Day

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Marriage ~ Forbearing One Another in Love

The Bible Lesson, or Anne and Tobias by Gerrit Dou

His eyes have wrinkles now but they are more beautiful to me than the day when we first met. They see more, perceive more and are more attentive to what is around him. They see the days I am tired and out of sorts. They see the moments when I need that special embrace. Yes, they are more attractive than ever before… I love his wrinkled eyes.

His hands are worn and rough now. The young and soft skin has worn away because of the years of hard work providing for our family. They are always busy repairing and bringing comfort into our home. They are constantly serving, helping and loving in their own masculine way... I love his wrinkled, rough, calloused hands.

But if I had surrendered our marriage in those first few years of frustration… If I had walked away when we were both young and passionately opinionated… If I had given up on that stubborn nature or his on mine…

Then I wouldn't have been able to see the man that God has made him into today.

"...With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering,

forbearing one another in love;

Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace..."

~ Ephesians 4:2-3

Though the verses above aren't specifically referring to marriage, I find they are key verses to preserving one.

You may also be interested in reading, Homecoming for Husbands.

This post may be shared with some or all of the following link-ups: Modest Mom Monday's, Teach Me Tuesday, Domestically Divine Tuesday, Raising Homemakers, Wise Woman Link Up, Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways, Simple Living Wednesdays and Deep Roots at Home. Thank you lovely ladies for hosting these.

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Doth $afely Trust in Her? ~ A True Story

It all started 15 years ago when her clock broke. Being the new daughter-in-law in the family, I jumped at the chance to bond with my mother-in-law. I quickly informed her that we now have an excuse to go shopping! She looked up and said softly, "Oh, I'm just going to purchase a clock kit and repair it".

A clock kit? Repair it? Did they make such antiquity and where would you find such things?

I proceeded to casually glance at the subject matter. Definitely not an heirloom or anything else of special interest, it was simply a basic kitchen clock. This was all very interesting…

To find out what happened next, continue reading at Deep Roots at Home, where I am guest posting today...

This post may be shared with some or all of the following link-ups: Modest Mom Monday's, Teach Me Tuesday, Domestically Divine Tuesday, Raising Homemakers, Wise Woman Link Up, Frugal Days, Sustainable Ways, Simple Living Wednesdays and Deep Roots at Home. Thank you lovely ladies for hosting these.

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Resolutions Worth Reflection by Eliza Lucas Pinckney, 1739-1762

"I am resolved, by the grace of God assisting me, to keep these resolutions which I have frequently made and do now again renew."

ONE

"I am resolved to believe in God, that he is a rewarder of all that diligently seek him, to believe firmly and constantly in all his attributes. I am resolved to fear him and love him with all the powers and faculties of my soul, and to keep a steady eye to his commands, and to govern myself in every circumstance of life by the rules of the gospel of Christ, whose disciple I profess myself and as such will live and die."

TWO

"I am resolved by the divine will not to be anxious or doubtful, nor to be fearful of any accident or misfortune that may happen to me or mine, not to regard the frowns of the world, but to keep a steady upright conduct before my God and before man, doing my duty, and contented to leave the event to God’s providence."

THREE

"I am resolved by the same grace, to govern my passions, to endeavor constantly to subdue every vice and improve in every virtue and in order to this I will not give way to any of the least notions of pride, haughtiness, ambition, ostentation, or contempt of others. I will not give way to envy, ill-will, evil speaking, in-gratitude, or uncharitableness in word, in thought, or in deed, or to passion or peevishness, nor to sloth, or idleness, but will endeavor after all the contrary virtues, humility and charity, and to always be usefully or innocently employed."

FOUR

"I am resolved not to be luxurious or extravagant in the management of my table and family on the one hand, nor niggardly* and covetous or too anxiously concerned about it on the other, but to endeavor after a due medium and manage with hospitality and generosity as much as is in our power; to have always plenty with frugality and good economy, to be decent but frugal in my own expenses, to be charitably disposed to all mankind."

FIVE

"I am resolved, by the divine assistance, to fill the several stations wherein providence has placed me, to the best advantage, to make a good wife to my dear husband in all its several branches and to make all my actions correspond with that sincere love and duty I bear him, to pray for him, to contribute in all my power to the good of his soul, and to the peace and satisfaction of his mind, to be careful of his health and of his interests, of his children and his reputation, to do him all the good in my power, and next to pleasing God, to make it my study to please him."

SIX

"I am resolved to be a good mother to my children, to pray for them, to set them good examples, to give them good advice, to be careful both of their souls and bodies, to watch over their tender minds, to carefully root out the first appearing and buddings of vice, and to instill piety, virtue, and true religion into them, to spare no pains or trouble to do them good, to correct their errors, whatever uneasiness it may give myself, and never omit to encourage every virtue I may see dawning in them."

SEVEN

"I am resolved to make a good sister, both to my own and my husband’s brothers and sisters, to treat them with affection, kindness, and good manners, and to do them all the good I can."

EIGHT

"I am resolved to make a good mistress to my servants, to treat them with humanity and good nature, to give them sufficient and comfortable clothing and provisions, and all things necessary for them, to be careful and tender of them in their sickness, to reprove them for their faults, to encourage them when they do well, and pass over small faults, not to be tyrannical, peevish, or impatient towards them, but to make their lives as comfortable as I can."

NINE

"I am resolved to be a sincere and faithful friend wherever I profess it, and as much as in me lies as an agreeable and innocent companion and a universal lover of all mankind."

TEN

"All these resolutions by God’s assistance I will keep to my life’s end, so help me, oh my God, Amen."

"Memorandum:

Read over this daily to assist my memory as to every particular contained in this paper, before I leave my chamber, recollect in general the business to be done that day."

~ Eliza Lucas Pinckney, 1739-1762

*Definition: Not generous; stingy 

This post may be shared with some or all of the following link-ups: Modest Mom Monday's, Teach Me Tuesday, Domestically Divine Tuesday, Raising Homemakers, Simple Living Wednesdays, Wise Woman Link Up, and Deep Roots at Home. Thank you lovely ladies for hosting these.  Original Web Source for Resolutions.

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Holding Each Other Up

Madonna of the Prairie by W.H.D. Koerner

We as wives and mothers can get physically tired, mentally exhausted and very overwhelmed at times. When you add one extra burden or struggle into our hearts, it seems to bring everything to a head and we can feel so utterly alone.

Ladies, do not be ashamed of those moments of weakness. Do not feel like a failure. More importantly, do not be too proud to accept encouragement and love when they are offered. Daily we draw our strength from the Almighty but there are times when God sends someone to give comfort and care. We must remember that His followers are also His instruments.

Would you believe that Moses, the leader of Israel had these same struggles? He was given a work by God but was growing weary in it. In Exodus 17:11-12, we find him barely able to raise up his staff during a major battle and whenever he lowered it, the Amalekite enemies would prevail. Thus, his arms began to tire and soon he could no longer hold them up! What was to be done? Did not God give this responsibility to Moses? He had made it possible for him to part the Red Sea and bring water from a rock! Where was He now when his strength was failing? Continue reading at Deep Roots at Home…

Linked up with the following:

Modest Mom Monday's

Domestically Divine Tuesday

Raising Homemakers

Wise Woman Link Up

Deep Roots at Home

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Accomplishments for the Day or Need a List? (Part Two)

The Breakfast Table by Harold Knight

In our last post, we discussed the importance of taking moments to love your family and not being ruled by the list of things to do in your household. Those thoughts usually only affect the "Martha" minded women who are task oriented and need constant reminders to stop and smell the roses.

Today we are going to discuss the "Mary" minded women who can't seem to get everything together. What we must remember is that Jesus told Mary she had done the "good part" by staying to hear His life changing words of salvation to the soul. She was absolutely justified to sit at the feet of the Savior and just listen! However, it is because she had Christ in her home that she was allowed this luxury.  If women were to sit and read and reflect all day long in their daily existence, surely her home would be undesirable.

There is a balance that must be found. We are called to be the "keeper at home" and that is a biblical task we should take with great care. If you find it hard to commence your day, a list is an excellent place to start. The night before, write down anything that must be done. Give yourself little goals. When you complete certain items, allow yourself a few minutes of refreshment or rest.

Here are some other good places to start:

1. Make your bed (right away) each morning.
2. Do all prep work for dinner during the quiet of the day (i.e., cut salad, chop any vegetables, marinate meat or prepare sauces and/or casseroles). Clean up the mess. There will be less dishes to do in the evening when you are tired. Set the table. Even if dinner isn't ready, this simple step shows care to your husband when he walks through the door.
3. Straighten up the living room prior to your husband's return from work as this is where he and you will most likely rest together after the long day.
4. Give your bathrooms a once over daily.

Most men are out all day in filthy, aggressive and stressful environments. By keeping your home a sanctuary, you are being such a blessing. You are doing him good (Proverbs 31:12)! Let your love shine for him by placing an importance on the home that he takes so much care to provide for.

"She looketh well to the ways of her household,

and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praiseth her."

~ Proverbs 31:27-28

*Note: This post is geared towards the "Mary" minded women. 

Visit here if you are "Martha" minded and are "busy with many things".*
Which one are you?

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Accomplishments for the Day or "The List" (Part One)

The Letter by Albert Lynch

Many women love to plan and prepare. I happen to be one of them. I set goals for myself and have an immense desire to check them off my list at the end of the day. I feel such satisfaction when that occurs! The sad part is that when it doesn't happen, I can get very frustrated (and it shows!) and wonder where did my day go?

You feel like you weren't productive. The ceiling fans are showing signs of stalactites, the windows in your home blend in with your walls and the kitchen sink is full of dishes that require a pick and chisel to clean. You feel like a failure as you wonder (and are irritable!) what did I accomplish today?

How many years was I influenced and flustered by these thoughts? How many hours did I waste in grouchiness trying to conquer those goals I set for myself? But most importantly, how many minutes and seconds of kisses and hugs did I rob from my husband and children while trying to bow down to the god that I created myself, "The List"?

I will always be thankful for the older woman I had in my life to guide me at that point. I was encouraged that my accomplishments were in the form of a happy husband and smiling child. Each day that I nurtured the needs of my family, I was bringing glory and beauty to the heavenly home.  I was doing what I was called to do and that "list" was the same each day and given to me by the Almighty (and in good order)…

1. to love my husband
2. to love my children
3. to be discreet and chaste
4. to be a keeper at home

(Titus 2:4-5)

Of course, I would continue keeping the home (it is on the heavenly list!) and tackling those scientific phenomenons that were occurring in my little kingdom. I would even keep a list. The difference was, that I knew the God given responsibilities on the top were the priority. I was accomplishing much each day when I loved and served my family and I wasn't going to let my man made paper make a failure out of me anymore.

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap

but by the seeds that you plant."

~ Robert Louis Stevenson

*Note: This post is geared towards the "Martha" minded women. You know who you are…
I am without a doubt one of them since I am the task oriented type.
Visit here if you are a "Mary" minded woman.*
Which one are you?

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Homecoming for Husbands

The Homecoming by Jennie Brownescombe

We had a long and hard day. The children are fussy, our head aches and the house is untidy. Your husband will be home in a few hours from work and who knows what you'll eat for dinner.

How will he be greeted?

We as wives always want to feel special and adored, but are we making our husbands feel loved and cherished as well? Are we greeting him each day like an encouraging "help meet" or a "hinder meet"? Do we build up our homes or are we tearing them down with our whining ways the minute he steps through the door?

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife."

 ~ Proverbs 21:19

Make your home a haven where your husband feels the pressures from the world melt from his shoulders! Let peace, love and order reign when that front door opens. Let him not dread his one and only domain! Sadly, many women complain that their husbands have so many hobbies that keep them from the home, in some cases it may have been the unpleasant homecomings that helped to create it.

I noticed that the more I give in my marriage, the more affection, love, and consideration is returned. It took me time to figure that out! I expected so much and one day realized that I was doing so little!

"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." 

~ Proverbs 14:1

Pray for wisdom, self control and tenderness when you greet your loved one as both of you may have had a long and hard day. Your actions can either make or break the rest of the evening for your entire family. The homecoming sets the mood in many a house. Your children are watching. How is mama treating their father? Make it a point to give the sweetest greeting you can when he walks through that door and watch the blessings of peace shower down into your home. Once he is nice and comfortable, I am sure he will take the time to make sure that the love of his life is well cared for too.

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown…"

~ Proverbs 12:4

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Awful Assumptions & Associations

David's men insulted by the Ammonites

I was just reading the 2nd Book of Samuel where King David is crowned over all Israel. He remembered a few people who were good to him in his time of need and wanted to show his gratitude...

"In the course of time, the king of the Ammonites died, and his son Hanun succeeded him as king. David thought, "I will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, just as his father showed kindness to me." So David sent a delegation to express his sympathy to Hanun concerning his father. When David's men came to the land of the Ammonites,  the Ammonite nobles said to Hanun their lord, "Do you think David is honoring your father by sending men to you to express sympathy? Hasn't David sent them to you to explore the city and spy it out and overthrow it?" So Hanun seized David's men, shaved off half of each man's beard, cut off their garments in the middle at the buttocks, and sent them away." 

~ 2 Samuel 10:1-4

The result of this hasty judgement toward David's good intentions was eventually the slaughter of the Ammonites. What was supposed to have been a blessing became a curse.

Awful Assumptions…

It got me to thinking… How many times do we judge good intentions thus so? Our husband might say something that we take the "wrong way" or a friend may think she is doing you a favor which you take as an insult? Are we surmising too much when we know too little? (And then assuming the worst?) Do we create havoc where peace was intended like the fellow above?

We must be careful how we view situations. We shouldn't be so eager to judge actions in a poor light or jump to conclusions. It is so easy to assume the worst, but in the end it can destroy relationships…

Awful Associations...

Another part of this story that was thought provoking to me, were the nobles who were counseling Hanun. They truly gave him poor advice and it cost them their lives. Do you have any family or friends who act in the same manner? Do they "stir the pot" in your marriage (such as, "I can't believe you let your husband get away with that…") Do you notice that "drama" follows these people everywhere they speak? Guard your hearts and homes from such persons who enjoy bringing "flavor" to life by re-interpreting situations and facts and bringing controversy where ever they go.

"These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren." (Proverbs 6:16-19)

"Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners." (1 Corinthians 15:33) 

"Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them.  For their heart studieth destruction, and their lips talk of mischief.  Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established." (Proverbs 24:1-3) 

May we find the strength and wisdom to...

Romans 12:18

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Renew Your Vows?

I have heard of married couples renewing their "vows". Have you ever heard of anyone renewing their "verses". It's something I try to do often to keep our marriage in balance with God's word. We can easily get caught up in what the world preaches and absorb its teaching on marriage. I have to review these truths frequently!

Let's see what Scripture says about… 

• "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." (Genesis 2:18)
• "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:24) 

• "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22) 

• "Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished." (Jeremiah 29:6)
• "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." (1 Corinthians 7:2-4) 

• "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33)

• "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives…" (1 Peter 3:1)

• "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." (1 Peter 3:7) 
• "And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth." (Malachi 2:15)

Keep yourself in harmony with these Scriptures 

& peace in your home is sure to follow...

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Coffee Break ~ Date with Husband

I hear the words, "date night with my husband" a lot lately and I pondered over the many complications with schedule, baby-sitting and expenses that it might bring. Somehow, it doesn't sound so glamourous after that.  Have you ever considered creating a place of peace in your own back yard that can give your husband and yourself a few minutes to catch up on the events of the day or the family situations in your life?

We have a "Friday 4 o'clock cup time" in our home.  It really is something we look forward to and gives us the extra "energy" to stay up a little later on Friday's to make it more special. Our little refuge is always there, a baby-sitter is always on the premises and a few tablespoons of ground coffee are all you need to have that special moment with your beloved.  So the next time the day is taxing and the labor is exhausting, brew a few cups and give your relationship a little something to quench it's thirst and warm you up!

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